Abstract: Blasphemed by many, unwittingly embraced by even more, feared, incomprehensible emotion. These are the most common perceptions of anger. But if instead of fighting her, if instead of looking at her as an enemy that turns our lives upside down, would we be able to look at her as an ally? If we managed to love this part of us as well, to give it a constructive meaning and, last but not least, to understand it in depth? Should we really take control? If instead of being captive to our own emotion, we discover a friend who warns us when we are in danger, especially an emotional one? This paper presents three completely different books that can contribute to your personal development, understanding this basic emotion and controlling it.

Keywords: fury; anger; angry; Pistorio; therapy; anger management; books; self-care; psychology; self-control

I remember a human life in which anger was my enemy. In fact, it doesn’t even exist. Because it was a shame. And because only bad people could feel anger. She “certainly” lived only in the violent people that life or movies got in my way. I felt uncomfortable just looking at a violent scene and studying fascinated and scared how the angry man seems to be led by a force that dwells in his body and leaves no room for thoughts, love, smiles, compassion and humanity. “Some people are born bad,” I thought.

At least that’s what I thought it was, my thoughts, not beliefs inoculated by generations of people struggling in their own “non-existent” fears and rages, boiled down, boiled under pressure, and delivered with a heavy, sulfurous odor on their face. put on the table for dinner, often matched with hidden tears, the only “garnish” that signaled a chronic sadness.

I didn’t feel angry. Such a thing was forbidden. I was just “annoyed”, my stomach ached and I was in a state of nervousness for a few days, with sadness, despair, boiling. Depending on the importance and extent of the injustice, some “nerves” lasted for years or even a lifetime.

I was going to find out it was called hate and I didn’t know what to do with it when I realized it was mine.

I remember the moment I discovered fascinated that it is okay to feel angry and that, in fact, you can’t even avoid it, being one of the primary emotions genetically imprinted in our brain. I felt so relieved of that crushing burden of guilt and shame! Why had I carried her in my back for so long? Because the “normal” in which we live captures unleashed rages and generalizes them as universally valid definitions for everything that means rage. Because we do not have emotional education in schools, before agonizing in mathematical analysis, in problems that only the physics teacher can do or before we become slaves to social networks.

And because the spiritual variants that we can try or have at hand, whether it is about religion or yoga, are promoted by both as supporting either an indefinite, unconditional, frustrating and incomprehensible acceptance of whatever we are it happens, without a prior filtering or understanding, or an escape into a relaxation and the living of the moment that seems completely impossible when the past shapes all your perceptions of the present. Sure, they’re good. Temporary. To allow your body and mind to relax a little, so that you can breathe. Beyond that, depending on how much we immerse ourselves in them, they can become more evolved and very well-structured forms of denial that give you a bottomless feeling of peace and happiness, beneath which dwell, in darkness, the rest of the unresolved emotions, and who are not allowed to show up so as not to spoil our condition or to be condemned by others. No, I didn’t say religion and yoga aren’t good. It’s just that any extreme doesn’t bring anything good. And that from their content, most of the time we miss the details that would put us in the awkward situation of getting out of homeostasis, because, on closer study, we will discover that they exist. But many of us choose the easy way, that of fleeing into a non-existent, unreal, false-quiet, false-good, false-happy world, which uncontrollably throws the contrast at us every time we take our noses out of the house.

After discovering that I was allowed to feel anger, she began to gush. When we wash the dishes. When I was eating. When I was walking down the street. With or without tears. With or without voice. Overwhelming. Impetuous. Beautiful. Authentic. Scary.

But it was mine. And I learned to string it. From the enemy and the external monster that was circling me, he became my ally. I learned to listen to her signals, let her protect me, let her warn me when the people I put on a pedestal were toxic to me, or when my brain doesn’t want to ruin its well-being or bother others by perceiving the real situation I am in. I learned to calm her down, to use her as a boost to support deserving causes, and not blockage, not suffocating magic.

The first signal that someone is trying to manipulate me I think is still coming from Her. The first signal that someone has no honest intentions for me certainly comes from her. And sometimes I don’t understand it at the moment, but I know I have to be vigilant. I trust her now. It’s like a faithful dog that clings to you and feels the people approaching. Some sit quietly at their feet, others growl deafly, and sometimes struggle in the chain of self-control.

How did I get from the man scared of his own anger to the man who turned him into an ally? I read. And, of all the leafy, underlined, scribbled, drawn, and ruminated books, three remained my reference:

1. The wisdom of our wraths. From destructive rage to building rage, by Marc Pistorio, Canadian clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.

Motivated by the experience of his own traumas and sufferings in deepening the study of emotions, the author manages, through this book, to safely lead the more or less knowledgeable reader, in exploring his own mists and demystifying his own demons.

The text provides clarity and an in-depth understanding of the problems the reader may face, without harassing him with complicated terminology, giving the latter a clear picture and a wide range of examples in which to find himself. The book provides motivation for change, understanding, explaining the phenomena we struggle with and why we struggle with them, normalizing emotion and an image of life that exists beyond exploring the painful corners of the soul. Because beyond the unreal, false-quiet, false-good, false-happy world of denial, it is a real, beautiful, quiet, good and happy one, in the healthy sense of the listed attributes. There is also information sought by psychology enthusiasts, such as the neuropsychology of anger, contextualization with emotional trauma in childhood and beyond, a psychoanalytic approach to impulses, a specific description of temperaments, beliefs and learned behaviors that lead to anger management problems in adulthood, neuroplasticity.

I remember being fascinated when I first read that anger can be expressed to myself, a completely new concept to me at the time, although it turned out that I was an expert in self-punishment. The author describes each social typology and how the individual can self-punish, outlining the following subchapters: singles, loners, partygoers, dominators, independents, woman-child and eternal adolescent, people with sex phobia, abstainers, caregiver and savior, sexuality as a tool of anger, resigned women and men, marital violence, verbal and psychological violence.

Last but not least, we find a chapter dedicated to perversion and narcissism, one dedicated to anger as a tool of manipulation and one about hidden expressions of anger (suppressed anger, passive aggression, anger at the wheel, exasperating others to release inner tensions, testing the limits of the law). In the category of self-directed anger, there are: retroreflective anger, fattening anger, anorexia, bulimia and other forms of mutilation, addictions, suicide, self-punishment through sexual intercourse, self-harm.

The last part of the book offers solutions for a reconstruction of the self-conscious self-anger, the author permanently correlating the genesis of problems with possible solutions as well as conflict resolution techniques. A few years later, flipping through the book, I realized that it would be useful for me to reread it, from the perspective of another man, calmer, able to understand other connections that had escaped a first approach.

2. A different but very useful and accessible approach is that of Albert Ellis and Raymond Chip Tafrate, how to control your anger before it controls you, a book translated into Romanian only in 2017. Authors it begins by motivating its reader through the concise description of the price paid for anger by each of us, socially, familially and, especially internally.

From my perspective, an important chapter is one that explains the negative effects of existing anger management myths. The active expression of anger does not seem to reduce it, but is a serious risk factor for heart disease, more dangerous than repressed anger. Recent studies show that physical and / or verbal expression of anger leads to more anger and violence, and not less. Expressing anger directly and indirectly tends to make it stronger, in fact an exercise in strengthening it. And, although, personally, I believe that some of the authors’ demystifications may be subject to argument or incomplete, in this case, I can only support the hypothesis. The proposed therapy focuses on rational-emotional and behavioral techniques (REBT), including a theoretical part that facilitates their application, including the theoretical delimitation of irrational beliefs from rational ones.

The proposed steps start from the identification of anger-generating beliefs, their deep understanding for the purpose of their dispute and lead the reader to learn to think, feel and act differently, appealing to brain neuroplasticity and relying on the understanding of inherent defense mechanisms.

3. While Albert Ellis’s approach discusses older techniques, more difficult theoretical issues for the uninformed reader, or some questionable hypotheses, Ronald T. Potter-Effron and Patricia S. Potter-Efron address the subject in easily digestible cognitive-behavioral cues. for the general public. 30-minute therapy for anger management. All you need to know as soon as possible, a book published in Romania in 2015, is, in fact, a small pocket textbook, which manages to clarify, very synthetically and clearly, enough aspects for the reader to understand with to fight, to be motivated and to have at hand a wide range of techniques and examples to guide easily and with which to sustain their efforts for a long period, necessary for the body to learn another style of think, feel and act.

The authors draw cues so that the reader can understand the thresholds beyond which anger management becomes a problem, identify their triggers, measure and recognize their internal manifestations with the anger thermometer so that they can counteract external manifestations in time, to understand the power play between the neocortex and the amygdala, to be able to identify the fallacious interpretations of the brain regarding the realities to which we are exposed and can be triggers and how not to reach resentment and hatred.

Although small, the book offers an impressive amount of simple and effective solutions and, last but not least, has a direct impact on emotional reconnection, when this connection with oneself has been lost.

Ellis, Albert & Tafrate, Raymond Chip (2017). How to control your anger before it controls you. Bucharest: Trei.

Pistorio, Marc (2017). The Wisdom of Our Anger. From destroying anger to building anger. Bucharest: Ed. Niculescu.

Potter-Efron, Ronald, T. & Potter-Effron, Patricia, S. (2015). 30-minute therapy for anger management. Everything you need to know in the shortest possible time. Bucharest: All.

Abstract: College dropout in the field of tertiary education has become a serious concern among specialists in the field of education in recent years. Programs and projects aimed at increasing the retention rate of students in the first year of college have been developed, and are still under discussion. The causes of school dropout vary, but an important role is also played by psychosocial factors closely related to the course or psychosocial evolution of the individual and his role in society. The tendency to drop out prematurely generates late negative effects, which are perceived much later in terms of professional failures caused by lack of education, as well as capping on certain limiting levels during personal and professional development.

Keywords: Motivation; self-esteem; intelligence; maladaptation; education; college dropout; career; decision making; stress; personality

The issue of college dropout targets not only the tertiary education sector but also starts at an early age, where specialists make important efforts to try to limit as much as possible the number of students tempted or constrained by certain factors to drop out of faculty.

By school dropout is meant the action of stopping school attendance, leaving the educational matrix and this can occur at any level of education (primary, secondary, tertiary) without the student having completed the cycle of study started and implicitly without obtaining a qualification professional.

If in the field of primary or secondary education the causes of school dropout vary from family, pedagogical, psycho-social-economic, in tertiary education the causes are relatively similar, but with slightly different features, related to the free will of the student as well as the influences of the external factors on the student’s personality.

Until the age of 18 the child is under the guardianship of the parents, and decisions on the life and development of the child are generally made by parents / tutors, and in extreme cases by the representatives of state institutions that care for the upbringing and / or protection of the child. Dropping out of school until the age of 18 cannot be considered a decision of the child / student, as the child’s decision-making abilities are not sufficiently developed to properly analyze such a decision, but these are at most acts of rebellion, despair or traumatic events strongly impacting the student, as well as other contextual constraints related to either intellectual capacity or incapacity, poverty, disabilities or other medical conditions that expose the student to this gesture of dropping out of school.

After the age of 18, when reaching the age of adult, one can speak, at least theoretically, about a sufficiently developed decision-making capacity to support the developing adult in the conscious and informed decision-making process. Obviously, we cannot speak of a fully developed capacity; life itself is a very complex and demanding dynamic process, so that man can always need support or advice in making important decisions. From this perspective, more precisely the responsibility towards decision making is one of the discriminating factors, which allows an objective difference between dropping out of primary / secondary education compared to tertiary one.

What are the Causes or Factors that Intervene and Support the Decision to Drop out of School in Tertiary Education?

A simple classification of the factors involved in school dropout at tertiary education level allows the classification into two categories, respectively endogenous factors and exogenous factors.

Exogenous factors - socio-economic, psycho-pedagogical factors. The psychological factors involved in dropping out of school are a dome that encompasses cognitive development, motivation, personality type, level of personal development.

Analyzed individually, cognitive development and the level or type of intelligence developed is an important role or factor in the academic course of the student. The first year of college is a touchstone for most students, not just for those with a poorly developed level of intelligence. Moving on a high level of difficulty can lead to complexes or mental blockages. In the first year of college many students have a defensive attitude, they are not as expressive as in high school, the accommodation process also activates the coping mechanisms, mechanisms that in some situations reach the extreme limit, in this case school dropout. Depending on the background and the level of cognitive difficulty reached during high school, the degree of accommodation of the student in the first year of college varies from easy to very difficult, which suggests the possibility of considering school dropout.

The level of cognitive development also requires a folding on a specialized profile compatible with the skills acquired by the student, and here comes the role of vocational counselling, otherwise the student risks reaching an area incompatible with his developmental possibilities, which generates blockages and school failure.

Motivation is a psychological factor interdependent on other psycho-social factors and is the engine of the personal and professional development of the student. Motivation is related to the student’s developmental goals, vision of the future, perception of reality and resilience to stress. A motivated student will more easily go through the adjustment period and difficulties encountered during academic development, compared to an unmotivated student without perspective and energy tonus to support him in his projects, thus exposing him to the risk of dropping out of school. Lack of motivation can have various causes, either of a cognitive nature, a student is not sufficiently prepared to cope with the level of difficulty to which he is exposed, or of an economic-financial nature, respectively school fees and other related expenses exceed the student’s financial potential, demotivating him and exposing him again to the risk of dropping out of school.

Another psychological factor is the contextual stress generated by various problems that the student may face, either maladaptation or inability to integrate into the team. Changing the school environment, switching from one teaching system to another, changing the form of examination / verification of knowledge are factors that can generate a mental pressure on the student, which against the background of a lack of motivation or a poorly developed cognitive level can lead to the idea of school dropout. In order to reduce these effects, support projects have been developed in the first year of college, such as the ROSE project which aims to increase the retention rate of students in the first year of college, by providing hours of consultations or meditations on some disciplines with a complex educational level.

Personality types and features play an important role in accommodating and traversing the academic environment. Each individual evolves differently, so we cannot say that certain personality types are doomed to drop out of school, but we can draw a perspective and a prediction that considers how certain personality types react or the influence of certain personality features on academic performance. There are many theories about personality types, some classify personality by types of type A, B, where type A personality provides a brave, fighting, hardworking, creative and highly motivated individual, and type B personality illustrates a more relaxed individual, with philosophical tendencies, who does not feel stressed and is hyperactive. From C. Jung’s perspective we have two personality types based on two dichotomous pairs of cognitive functions, respectively:

Starting from these functions, Jung supports two personality types, respectively introvert and extrovert. The introvert type is oriented towards the inner world, towards thoughts, concepts, theories, and the extrovert takes his energy from other people, prefers interaction with others and is oriented towards concrete and measurable actions.

From the perspective of the type of temperament, respectively choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic, four personality types also develop, each type expressing the respective character. This is how we have the choleric who expresses a strong, aggressive, ambitious, independent personality. The sanguine is characterized by spontaneity, optimism, inattention, sociable and cheerful. The phlegmatic manifests a calm, carefree, diplomatic, kind, flexible personality, which reconciles well with other personality types and tries not to upset anyone. Melancholy people are emotional, they focus on details, they are introverts and they try to avoid being in the middle of a crowd.

As mentioned, the type of personality does not give the sentence of success or school dropout, but it can have a contextual influence on the student’s evolution. A sanguine person, for example, may have a fierce reaction; it may quarrel with a colleague or a teacher, which could lead him to drop out of college. A melancholic may feel emotional in front of public exposure to lectures or seminars may have difficulty integrating into the team, which could cause him to attend less college, with the necessary consequences. The examples can continue, the prevailing idea is based on the fact that it is not the type of personality that determines school success or failure; it can at most signal the fact that there are different perspectives for approaching the entire academic context.

Starting from the field of personal development, self-esteem, level of responsibility and conscientiousness towards the actions taken or to be undertaken, are psychological factors involved in the academic evolution of a student, not only from the perspective of success and challenges a student may face. Coping mechanisms are mainly activated in stressful situations. A student’s stress can take various forms, but a high level of stress also involves the triggering of the defence mechanism, so some students choose to integrate into clubs and consume their negative energies, to repel, to seek support and energy to overcome stressful situations, other students are forced to face many challenges not only of a cognitive and financial nature, they are forced to learn to cope on their own, to cope with unique experiences, especially in the case of those who face a drastic separation, leaving the environment family and the compulsion to manage on their own create unconscious mental tensions closely correlated with these defence mechanisms that differ from one individual to another, reaching in some cases even the extreme of dropping out of college.

From the perspective of social factors there are many aspects to analyze, but in this article I will focus only on the cultural climate, social trends, financial aspects and distorted perceptions.

In the Romanian culture, the mentality has been preserved that a higher education can ensure you a prosperous life and a peaceful old age. Ideologically this concept is well thought out, but from a practical perspective thing are a little different.

First of all, the perception of the need for a higher education of academic level gives rise to some confusion; people come to understand that you can be successful only if you follow a college, the rest of the professions without higher education end up being disregarded. Thus, more and more students choose to attend a college only out of the desire to have higher education, without an analysis of their own inventory of interests and compatibility with the chosen specialization. This is where the lack of vocational guidance comes into play, many students do not know what they want, do not know themselves and live with the false impression that a faculty will give them meaning. Thus, they end up choosing undergraduate programs that are incompatible with both their level of training and their potential for development, sometimes realizing late that their place is not in that college.

At the other extreme, even in the case of students who responsibly choose their field and program of study, the risk of dropping out of school is favoured by the unstable and deficient economic situation of the student. In the absence of financial support from parents, many students choose to work, drastically reducing the time and resources allocated to study, and momentary financial satisfaction is an imminent danger of dropping out of college for many students. The inability to pay their tuition fees and the constraint of self-maintenance cause many students to turn to the labour market in order to meet the financial needs of self-maintenance. Thus, many students drop out of school prematurely with the illusion that they will return to study, but in most cases, this return occurs after many years, when the cognitive potential is affected by other factors including aging or loss of learning training.

These types of strategies are urgently needed at the level of any type of tertiary education institution. As I said, there are projects aimed at increasing the retention rate of students in the first year of college, which provide both cognitive support through meditation programs (discipline consultations) and course supports designed to support students who face difficulties in certain disciplines in college.

An important role in increasing the retention rate of students in the first year of college is also played by the vocational counsellor or the psychologist within the career counselling and guidance centre to help students and propose a personal development plan, helping them to discover themselves, to establish a career plan, with a starting point and a goal to achieve, thus keeping students focused on achieving their own goals, thus avoiding the capacity for personal failure through school dropout and deviation from the path of development harmonious.

School dropout or the inability to complete a form of education, whether at secondary or tertiary level, is a form of school failure and a challenge among many higher education institutions. The causes of this fact vary both from an endogenous perspective, such as psychological factors related to the individual, and an exogenous one, which considers factors, socio-economic, financial, and in some cases psycho-pedagogical. The effects of dropping out of school are perceived by the student only late when the individual constrained by socio-economic trends and fierce competition in the labor market that begins to exert constraints on opportunities for advancement or access to some higher positions, realizes and experiences the regret of dropping out.

In order to prevent and reduce the number of such effects, higher education institutions need to focus their teaching and auxiliary resources in order to set up interdisciplinary commissions specializing in increasing student retention rates through programs to raise awareness of the effects of early school leaving, supporting the students capital through activities that increase their self-esteem and sense of responsibility and usefulness among the academic community, through both moral and financial satisfaction, such as prizes for participation in various projects and workshops, part-time activities with various partners, etc., thus preparing a competent, responsible and useful individual to society through his vocational contribution. The role of the school is to train people; the role of society is to use these people for the purpose of harmonious and equitable evolution for all citizens.

Cristea, C.G. (2003). Psihologia educaţiei/ The psychology of education. Ed. Bucharest.

Mihăilescu, I. (2003). Sociologie generală/ General sociology. Iasi: Ed. Polirom.

Jung, C. G. (2004). Tipuri psihologice/ Psychological types. Bucharest: Ed. Trei.

Jinga, I. & Vlăsceanu, L. (1989). Structuri, strategii şi performanţe în învăţământ/ Structures, strategies and performance in education. Bucharest: Ed. Academiei.

Allport, G.W (1991). Structura și dezvoltarea personalității/ Personality structure and development. Bucharest: Ed. Didactică și Pedagogică.

1 Student, 2nd year, Faculty of Communication and International Relations, Specialization Psychology, Danubius University of Galati, Romania, Address: 3 Galati Blvd., 800654 Galati, Romania, Tel.: +40372361102, Fax: +40372361290, Corresponding author: andreeapuscasu@yahoo.com.

New Trends in Psychology, Vol. 2, no 2/2020, pp. 12-17

2 Psychologist, Graduate of Faculty of Communication and International Relations, Specialization Psychology, Danubius University of Galați, Romania, Adress: Address: 3 Galati Blvd., 800654 Galati, Romania, Tel.: +40372361102; Fax: +40372361290, Coresponding author: cami_nicoleta@yahoo.co.uk.

New Trends in Psychology, Vol. 2, no 2/2020, pp. 18-24