When Betrayal Goes Digital: Women’s Experiences of Online Infidelity and Attachment Injury
Abstract
Objectives: The current study explores how Romanian women experience, interpret, and cope with the discovery of their spouses’ online sexual infidelity, conceptualized as an attachment injury. Prior Work: While online sexual infidelity has been increasingly examined in Western societies, little is known about its emotional and relational impact in traditional, religious Eastern European contexts such as Romania. Approach: Using a qualitative design, semi-structured interviews were conducted with 19 Romanian women (aged 37–59) who experienced their husbands’ online sexual infidelity and were undergoing divorce counselling. Data were analyzed through reflexive thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Results: Four primary themes emerged: (1) sexual interactions – activation of attachment needs, sexual inadequacy, and sexual withdrawal; (2) emotional effects – trauma symptoms, emotional disengagement or hyper-attachment, and negative affect toward self and spouse; (3) cognitive impacts – distorted self-perceptions, rumination, and intrusive imagery related to betrayal; (4) behavioral consequences – surveillance behaviors, avoidance, and verbal or emotional retaliation. Participants reported profound emotional pain, loss of self-worth, and disrupted attachment patterns consistent with post-traumatic responses. Implications: Online sexual infidelity constitutes a severe form of attachment-related trauma with emotional, cognitive, and behavioral consequences. Findings highlight the role of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in addressing culturally shaped responses to betrayal. Value: This study contributes to the understanding of digital intimacy and attachment trauma in a non-Western context, informing culturally sensitive interventions.
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